Romance scams aimed at people over 50

Romance scams aren't a story about gullible people. They're a business, run by organized criminals who work from scripts, juggle many victims at once and spend weeks or months building trust before they ask for a cent. Clever, careful people are taken in every day. The best defense is knowing how the story usually goes.

How big the problem is

In the US, people reported losing $1.14 billion to romance scams in 2023, across 64,003 reports, with a median loss of $2,000 per person, according to the FTC. Across all types of fraud, the FTC says about $16 billion was reported lost in 2025, the highest on record.

In the UK, Report Fraud received 10,784 reports of romance fraud in 2025, up 29% on 2024, with losses of more than £102 million and an average loss of about £9,500. People aged 55 to 74 lost the most: nearly half of the total.

Those are only the reported cases. Many people never report, often out of embarrassment.

How a romance scam usually unfolds

A romance scam moves through the same stages almost every time: contact, trust, isolation, then money. The details vary, but the shape is very consistent:

1. The approach. A friendly message on a dating site or social media, from an attractive profile. Often the person lives or works far away.
2. Off the site. Within days, they suggest moving to a messaging app, text or email "because I'm hardly ever on here".
3. Intense attention. Long, loving messages, morning and night. They declare strong feelings quickly and talk about a future together.
4. No meeting. They always have a reason they can't video call or meet: deployment, a remote work site, a broken camera, a poor connection.
5. The first request. Often small, and framed as a favor or a temporary problem. Sometimes they even send a little money first, to build trust.
6. The crisis. A medical emergency, a customs fee on a valuable delivery, a frozen bank account, legal trouble, a plane ticket to finally come and see you.
7. Escalation. Once you've paid once, the requests keep coming, each more urgent than the last. If you hesitate, they may become hurt, angry or desperate.

What it can sound like

These invented examples show the tone to watch for. None is a quote from a real case.

• Early on: "I've never felt this way about anyone so quickly. I think fate brought us together."
• Moving off the site: "I'm hardly ever on here. Can we talk on another app instead? It's easier for me."
• Avoiding video: "My camera's broken and the signal on the rig is terrible. Soon, I promise."
• The ask: "I'm so embarrassed to ask, but my account is frozen and I need to pay the customs fee today. I'll pay you back the moment I'm home."

The stories scammers tell

Scammers use a small set of cover stories that explain why they're far away and why they suddenly need money. The FTC has studied what victims report. The most common lie, appearing in nearly a quarter of reports it analyzed, was that a friend or relative was sick, hurt or in jail. Close behind were claims of great investment advice to share, of being in the military, and of needing help with an important delivery.

Australia's Scamwatch lists similar cover stories: working overseas or interstate in the military, for the UN, as a doctor or on an oil rig; being widowed or divorced with children; being well off but needing money to finalize a deal or get out of detention.

The investment version

Romance baiting, the name Australia's Scamwatch uses, is a romance scam that ends in a fake investment instead of an emergency; it's also known as pig butchering. Some scams skip the emergency and go straight to money-making. A new match mentions, almost in passing, how well they've done trading crypto or gold. They offer to show you. You're shown a slick website or app where your "investment" grows quickly, until you try to withdraw it and discover there's a fee, then a tax, then another fee.

Any online love interest who wants to teach you to invest is following a script.

How they ask to be paid

How someone asks to be paid is often the clearest giveaway of all. Scammers want money that's fast and hard to trace or reverse. The FTC says only scammers tell you to buy gift cards, wire money or buy cryptocurrency. In its analysis of romance scam reports for 2022, people reported losing more money by sending cryptocurrency than by any other method.

Watch, too, for requests to receive money or parcels for them and pass them on. Someone who moves stolen money for criminals, often without knowing it, is called a money mule. The FBI warns never to help anyone move money through your account. That can make you part of a crime without realizing it.

If they ask you for money

You don't have to argue or explain. For example: "I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but I don't send money to people I haven't met. If you're in trouble, please contact your embassy or your bank." Then stop and talk to someone you trust. A genuine person will accept the answer; a scammer will push.

Warning signs at a glance

If you recognize two or more of these, stop and check before you go any further.

• They profess love quickly, before you've met
• They want to leave the dating site straight away
• They live or work far away, often overseas
• They never video call, or the camera never works
• Their story has gaps, or changes
• They ask for secrecy, or tell you not to discuss it with family
• They ask for money, gift cards, crypto or your bank details, for any reason
• They offer to help you invest
• Their photos look too polished, or slightly odd; the FBI warns that criminals now use AI to make fake photos and video

If you think it's happening to you

Act now rather than waiting to be sure; you can always pick a conversation back up, but money is hard to get back.

1. Stop sending money. Whatever they say will happen if you don't.
2. Talk to someone you trust before you do anything else. The FTC suggests this too; an outside view helps more than you'd think.
3. Call your bank or card company straight away, using the number on your card. The sooner they know, the better the chance of stopping a payment.
4. Keep everything: messages, profile screenshots, receipts and transfer details.
5. Report it. Our guide to where to report a romance scam lists the right place in the US, UK, Canada and Australia. Report the profile to the dating site too, through the members help center if it was on Just Senior Singles.
6. Beware of "recovery" offers. People who contact you promising to get your money back for a fee are very often the next scam. The FBI's IC3 says it will never contact you directly for information or money.

Helping a parent or friend

The kindest approach is a calm, private conversation built on questions, not accusations. If you're worried about someone you love, start gently. People caught up in a romance scam often feel real love, and they'll defend the relationship. Scamwatch suggests a calm, honest heart-to-heart rather than an ambush.

Ask questions instead of making accusations. Have they met in person or on video? Have they been asked for money? Show them this page, or the FTC's own advice, so it isn't just your word. Offer to help with a reverse image search of the person's photos together. Keep the door open, even if they're not ready to hear it yet.

If they have already lost money, help them call the bank and make a report. Where to report a romance scam covers support lines for victims as well as the official reporting bodies.

Read more

• How to spot a fake dating profile
• Meeting a match in person for the first time
• Money and a new partner after 50
• How to set up a video call with a match
• Our safety page for everything else